I wake up at 5:45am and start doing work related to my personal business (day trading in the Foreign Exchange Market). Depending on the day I usually finish up with this around noon or 1pm. I then commute to a local college where I volunteer as an Assistant Track Coach on average from about.  When I get home from this job, I return to my personal business and either start prepping for the following day or actively trading in the market.  Before I ventured off and worked for myself I was coaching track along with working with special needs children in a local school district.  Needless to say my days were pretty busy and pretty exciting to say the least.  Don't get me wrong, I loved both jobs for the shear fact that I knew I was making a positive difference in a person's life. However, if you have ever coached or worked with a student on the spectrum then you know that some days can be a handful.  The point is that, ever since I graduated college my days have seemed to run together.  (Welcome to the real world I guess).  And because I go directly from one to the other I often carry over a lot of baggage from the previous job with me. It's because of past experiences like these that I have learned the importance of separation or what I like to call it The Shower.

 In the past I have had instances where I take out my frustration from my job in the schools to the athletes I coach for no apparent reason.  They could be having a great day at practice and one little thing would send me off the deep end (which wasn't fair to them).  To make things worse, I would then carry that frustration and anger home with me.  Since I was aware of the type of mood I was in, and the type of person I become when I get angry,  I would often become very anti-social so that I didn't snap on anybody else that did not deserve it.  It was because of experiences like these that I learned how important it was to keep the two jobs and my personal time separate on an emotional level. This meant that if I have a bad day in the morning, I had to quickly forget about it so it didn't affect the quality of my work in the afternoon, or my personal life when I got home.

While studying up on psychology for my trading business I ran across a series of books called "The Winning Edge" by Jake Bernstein and Adrienne Laris Toghraie.  These books talked in great detail about running a business from home and how to separate your business life and frustrations from your personal life. It gave plenty of examples of mistakes that people have made and how it has affected their lives.  And trust me, some of these stories were downright terrifying. I'm talking people destroying their lives and families.

Anyway, why is the title of this post "The Shower" you ask. Well, it's because I personally use the shower as my transition area from job to job.  After one job I hop in the shower and if I had a bad day I look at getting washed up as a way to wipe away all of my frustration and anger and start with a clean slate. Once I'm out of the shower I'm on to a new phase in my day and I need to leave all of the old issues behind.  Now because I'm trying to save water I only shower once per day, so in the evening I use the drive home as my cleansing period.  I turn on some music in the car (or sometimes just ride in silence) and tell myself that this is my time to relax and leave all my frustration and anger back at work.  This is a method that has worked well for me, and if you're the type of person that feels as if they carry things with them for a while then I recommend giving it a try. Especially if you have a family or loved ones that you come home to everyday, it is not worth making them feel at fault for an issue that occurred earlier in the day. 

4/18/2011 11:31:07 am

Great story, in the book i am currently reading by tony dungy he refers to this experience you wrote about. Very well put and i will try to ad this to my life...thank you


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