Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like the world is just out to get you?  Well yesterday was one of those days for me. What started off as a very good day ended pretty badly. In fact what started off as a great week ended with a phone call around 1pm yesterday. That call must have been the switch that triggered everything else, because after that moment it was all downhill from there.  Did I foresee this happening? Yes. Has it happened before? Yes. Will it happen again? Of course. The real question is how will I handle it when it does.

I have always been the type of person that has liked to avoid conflict as much as possible because I understand how I can get when I get upset.  On the surface this sounds like a very good plan, but it actually has some pretty dire side effects.  Because I bottle so much anger and frustration up over days, weeks and even months, it eventually needs to come out.  And when it does it is usually not good and it's usually directed at whomever pushed that last button.  I noticed this trend starting in high school and although I have become a lot better at controlling how and when my frustration comes out, it still does occur.  I'm not quite sure why this happens, probably some built up frustration from my childhood (that's what the psych's always say right), but it does. And honestly I wouldn't change it for the world. 

I believe that the same anger and frustration that comes when I get angry is the same fuel that motivates me to do great things in life.  When these feelings take over I tend to form the me against the world attitude where I can care less about anybody else at the time.  This is the same attitude that has allowed me to succeed in life. Whether it be in athletics where I felt as if I had to dominate all of my competition in order to stand out, or academics, where I felt that if I wanted to get a project done the right way I couldn't simply take the laissez-faire leadership approach.  At the end of the day if I wanted something done the right way I never relied on others.  Keep in mind there is a big difference between rely and trust.  This same attitude also allowed me to make it to the position I'm at now.  I won't go into details but growing up, there was the opportunity for me to get dragged into a lot of events that could have potentially ruined my life.  And if I wasn't so strong willed or stubborn then I probably would have followed a lot of my ex-friends down those paths.  Ex-friends? Maybe not, lets call them people I knew.  Anyway those people are now cut off from my life. Not because they're not cool, or because I hold some type of grudge against them. They're simply cut off because I don't need them.  In this war I'm going through (and of course I say war in no means comparing it to the actual war that our troops are currently involved in)  I'm only recruiting people that bring something to the table. Something that will help me succeed. (And I would hope they're mindset is the same about me, that's called a win-win). If you can't do that then you're dead weight.  We all know what happens to dead weight.

My good friend Devon wrote a post a few weeks ago called "Facade" and how he was tired of putting on a mask in order to appeal to others.  He was tired of sacrificing his self happiness in order to please others while slowly killing himself mentally.  Since that post he has made the decision to make a change in his life and go after what he wants.  My brother Gary also recently made a similar attitude change that he was tired of taking life in stride and that he wanted to go after his dreams. (Which is why we originally created the royalty Movement and this site).  Since then he has been more fired up then I have ever seen him.  All three of us dared to be different, dared to be weird, strange, stupid, insane, whatever you want to call us.  And we graciously accept all of those titles.  And you know why?  I'm going to try and say this in th most professional way I can...Because we could care less about what you think.  We are in this thing for ourselves and for whomever we feel is worthy enough to ride with us.  The fact is that in battle you're only as strong as your weakest link.  OMG he's so cocky, so arrogant, so confident. It's cool, the people with the similar mindset to mine are shaking their heads yes right now.  (Enough with the rant).

The point is we all have many good qualities and we all have bad ones.  But just because a personality trait you may have seems negative on the outside, or to others doesn't mean that it can't be a positive for you.  You were made the way you are for a reason and no matter how much you try, there are something's you just can't change.  If you are a fan of X-Men, or Hero's you're fully aware that they weren't told to be ashamed of their powers, they were told to embrace them and use them for good (for the most part).  There were many that even wanted to get rid of their powers or abilities only to realize that, it was part of their make-up and it was something that made them who they are as a person.  Instead of throwing a trait away why no learn to control it the best you can and use it for good. 

Andy Young
4/20/2011 11:25:12 am

I got you. Nice write up. I have always felt that life is a series of conflicts and resolutions. Sometimes we win sometimes we lose but overall we always win if we take something good away from the experience. Trying to avoid becoming jaded in outlook is the every day battle I fight. It's worth fighting for though because I would rather be positive in outlook.

4/20/2011 12:18:39 pm

Very emotional well spoken piece... I liked your analogy with X-Men it hit the nail right on the head. We were crated the way we are for a reason and it is not up to us to remove what was meant to be.


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