Growing up I can honestly say that I was a full blown pessimist. I didn't plan to be this way , rather I noticed a trend of whenever I wanted something to happen so bad and it didn't turn out the exact way that I wanted it I would feel let down. For example, if I wanted to get picked for a part in a play or for a specific team, I would get really excited about the possibility, only to later find out I didn't get picked. More recently I had an all-star recruiting class set to come to the school I coach at, but by the time the season came around none of them were able to compete due to various reasons. During the period when I thought they were still coming, I got so worked up thinking about the future possibilities only to be crushed by the reality of the situation. Instances like this throughout my life have shaped my mindset to the point where I am very even keel and emotional-less until the food is in my mouth per say.  What's strange is despite having this mindset when it comes to things I can't control, I have the exact opposite mindset for things that I can.

When it comes to myself and my personal actions I am humble at my heart, but very confident in my affirmations.  Over the years I have really noticed and accepted how much the mind really controls the body. Yes, we all know the brain controls everything, duh, but I meant how powerful the human mind is that you can actually will things to happen.  I have always believed that if you want something bad enough (as long as it's under your control) you can make it happen.  There are plenty of different methods to achieve this, mine personally is backing myself into a corner until I have nowhere else to go but forward. When I'm looking to achieve a goal I talk myself up so much that I get to the point where I have to step up and get it done, or I'm going to look and feel like an idiot. I'll put it straight forward to you so listen up. "I DON'T LIKE FAILURE, AND I DON'T FAIL." Failure is my biggest fear, and because of this I constantly tell myself not that I want to win, but I have to win. Now before I move on let me explain my feelings on failure and losing. Those words to me are an end to all. Meaning that if I hear that somebody fails, it means that it's over and they have given up.  I look at everything in the big picture. I hate to use military references especially when my brother is a member of the proud forces that serve us. But I think of it as the battle versus the war. Losing the battle is a setback while failure to me is losing the war.  You can learn valuable thing from losing battles, but as long as you still have the desire and drive to push forward and fight then you are still in the war. But when you accept the loss and stop fighting, that's when you have lost the war and have failed.

I make it no secret that I don't like to lose and that I straight out don't fail. And because of this mindset, I often get characterized as being arrogant. "Ooooohhh I hate that word!" Personally I don't think I'm arrogant.  Especially when looking at the definition that says: Making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming; insolently proud.  The key words I took from this definition was superior importance, overbearingly, and insolently. 

Superior importance: Me thinking that I'm better than you.  Ok well I fail on this section because I do think I'm better than you.  Not in the case where I'm a better person, or have more talent than you, but if we're involved in the same task, I want to win. If I'm worse than you, I can and do fully except that, but at the same time I don't want you to know that and have it feed your confidence.  I'm fully aware that there are many people better than me at everything I do in the world. But answer this question, why go into a fight knowing and telling yourself that you're going to lose? if you do a study on any military force, or even look at movies like 300, Robin Hood or Braveheart just to name a few. pay attention to the mindset that they have before going into battle, even if they are the underdogs.

Overbearingly assuming/insolently proud:  I completely pass this test, because although I talk myself up (to myself) to the point where I have extreme confidence, I never assume anything about my competitors. When going into a job interview, I may tell myself that I am the best candidate for this job and here is why. But I never enter with the mindset that John over there is a loser or that Sally can't do the job as well as I can. I'm simply worried about myself and my own abilities. My "self talk" is just that, talk for me and my mind only. I'm never rude to others or proud to the point where I try to make others feel bad.

I have been involved in sports sine I could walk, and mentally I am one of the most ferocious competitors you'll ever meet because I don't like to lose at anything I do. With that being said if you ask anybody that knows me they will tell you that I'm probably a little crazy, but at the same time I have never taunted, boasted, or belittled anybody in my life time. I'm actually quite quiet when it's time to get stuff done. My way of taunting and boasting is by simply attempting to get the job done better than you can. "What you call arrogance is simply my confidence." 

I know it's a little long but thank you for taking the time to read this entry. - I Am Business

There is no rose without a thorn.

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